Yawn. Things are getting a bit boring round here don’t you think?! Eat your greens blah, blah, blah… Don’t worry, I try not to take myself too seriously so here are a few unconventional health quotes for you to enjoy:-
- Don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
- My doctor told me to do something that made me slightly out of breath, so I started smoking again.
- Never eat anything at one sitting that you can’t lift.
- The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.”
- I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
- Muscles come and go; flab lasts.
- All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
- To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
- If you ever have to support a flagging conversation, introduce the topic of eating.
- Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.
- Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad.
- Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.
- Seafood brought in by customers will not be entertained.
- Eat whatever thou likest, but dress as others do.
- The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
- Eat bread at pleasure, drink wine by measure.
- Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
- The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
- Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing.
- An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Mattie’s Restaurant and Yogurt Palace, “An alternative to Good Eating”
– Homer Simpson
– Jo Brand
– Miss Piggy
– Dave Barry
– Joe E. Lewis
– Bill Vaughan
– Alexander Wolcott
– Gustave Flaubert
– Redd Foxx
– Andy Rooney
– Leigh Hunt
– Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
– Arnold Edinborough
– Winston Churchill
– George Bush, US president, 1990
– Restaurant sign in Langkawi, Malaysia
– Arab Proverb
– Lucille Ball
– Randle Cotgrave
– Jim Davis (Garfield the Cat)
– Mark Twain
– Billy Rose
– Winston Churchill
– Restaurant Business Card from Decatur, Texas
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Totally mis-titled, they are Words to Live By.
except
# Eating words has never given me indigestion.
– Winston Churchill (probably not true)
# Eat bread at pleasure, drink wine by measure.
– Randle Cotgrave ( he got it backwards)
# 5 is priceless! Thanks for the laugh.
And #3 is pretty good advice.
rofl to losing two weeks..these are indeed great finds…bookmarked!
I’m glad everyone liked it. I had fun putting this post together 🙂
#1 Classic Homer
#7 I definitely can relate to Mr Wolcott’s words
#14 Humbling words from Mr Churchill
#19 Great advice!
#21 Hitting the nail, as always.
Well misguided I was. I have never heard most of them so it was a refreshing read and I think that there should be more posts like this.
I think this is mainly because there is no good content out there. Everyone is trying to be funny, no fun is funny!
NEAT! This was quality read.
i really hate bad breath coz it gives me headache~`”