Yawn. Things are getting a bit boring round here don’t you think?! Eat your greens blah, blah, blah… Don’t worry, I try not to take myself too seriously so here are a few unconventional health quotes for you to enjoy:-

1. Don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

– Homer Simpson

2. My doctor told me to do something that made me slightly out of breath, so I started smoking again.

– Jo Brand

3. Never eat anything at one sitting that you can’t lift.

– Miss Piggy

4. The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.”

– Dave Barry

5. I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

– Joe E. Lewis

6. Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

– Bill Vaughan

7. All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

– Alexander Wolcott

8. To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.

– Gustave Flaubert

9. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

– Redd Foxx

10. I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.

– Andy Rooney

11. If you ever have to support a flagging conversation, introduce the topic of eating.

– Leigh Hunt

12. Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.

– Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

13. Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad.

– Arnold Edinborough

14. Eating words has never given me indigestion.

– Winston Churchill

15. I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.

– George Bush, US president, 1990

16. Seafood brought in by customers will not be entertained.

– Restaurant sign in Langkawi, Malaysia

17. Eat whatever thou likest, but dress as others do.

– Arab Proverb

18. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

– Lucille Ball

19. Eat bread at pleasure, drink wine by measure.

– Randle Cotgrave

20. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

– Jim Davis (Garfield the Cat)

21. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.

– Mark Twain

22. Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing.

– Billy Rose

23. An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

– Winston Churchill

24. Mattie’s Restaurant and Yogurt Palace, “An alternative to Good Eating”

– Restaurant Business Card from Decatur, Texas

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